Monday, March 25, 2013

A Letter to Non-Pregnant Friends

I know is supposed to be a running-related blog and that I haven't blogged in a LONG time, but I'm hoping that I can move my blog to a little bit more of an insight to my life, not just running. Plus, today I hit a breaking point and just needed to vent for a short period of time... I promise I will be positive.

After a handful of comments, both good and awkward, that were made this past week regarding my pregnancy, I decided to write a letter to my non-pregnant friends and family to share a little insight into what it is like to be on the receiving end of those comments. So here goes... 

To my dearest non-pregnant friends and family,

  I know that we, myself and fellow pregnant women, can be overly annoying at times and downright one-sided in our thoughts and actions from the moment we find out that we are expecting. I also know that our upcoming deliveries, how we are feeling and our fears are common conversation topics, even if people don't want to hear them. I've been the person to scroll down my Facebook and Twitter feed to  to see daily belly pictures on social media and frequent updates about baby kicks, nursery decorating bargains and lack of sleep and roll my eyes at yet more baby sharing. Ok, I'll admit. I'm guilty of it too. It's an exciting time and it's easy to get caught up in everything.

 But...I'll make a deal with you. I'll try to contain my baby-related topics to a minimum, if you can promise to remember that my being pregnant does not allow you to ignore social rules and say whatever is on your mind. It has seemed to me through my first pregnancy and now my second that some non-pregnant people feel it's acceptable to say whatever they'd like when talking to someone about their pregnancy. It is never OK to ask someone if they planned to have a baby, used fertility drugs, or to ask any other very personal questions about how the pregnancy occurred. On that note, it is never acceptable to ask about what negative side effects I'm experiencing (Trust me... pregnancy isn't always rays on sunshine and it's not really information I'd like to share.), or to give hours of questioning my parenting skill. It is also not an open invitation to touch my stomach and to comment on how "large" I am getting.

Pregnancy is a scary and wonderful journey. As I enter my "halfway" point of my pregnancy, I have taken some time to look back on my journey so far and realize that I am blessed to be able to say that I am expecting twins. However, I'll admit, some days it's hard to remember that between the early morning sickness, the constant back pain and stretching that your body feels and the ever growing weight on the scale. It's on those days that pregnant women feel most vulnerable and those days when we need support. We don't need the comments about our growing bodies or unwanted questioning. We see our changes daily and we are already trying to process and find the best in our journeys without the added stress. Yes, it is a blessing to be pregnant, but it is a lot to take in each day. All of these changes signal large life changes ahead and it's downright scary.

Please remember next time we talk with you, that although we are excited, we are scared too. We are feeling blessed and overwhelmed at the same time. Our constant changing emotions can be challenging to handle. Remember that a comment or question you make has the ability to make us feel down on ourselves or can make us feel supported and reaffirm our blessings. Remember in the end, it's all about the miracle of welcoming a little one (or ones...) into a loving and caring world.

With much respect and love,
Your pregnant friend or family member